Mogre (miniquest)/Transcript
Them *'Player:' Are you all right? You seem a little...incoherent. *'Skippy:' Inc'hearnt? Inc'herant! You...you...with yer fancy book lernin' words. You'd be more than inc'herant if youd seen... *'Skippy:' (Dramatic pause) *'Skippy:' THEM! **'Player:' I'm sure I would as well. ***'Player:' I'm going over here to talk to non-crazy people now. ***'Skippy:' Yeah? Yeah? Well when THEY come floppin' into your house and eat your furniture you'll be sorry! **'Player:' Who are ***'Player:' (Dramatic pause) ***'Player:' THEY? ***'Skippy:' They! Those bloodthirsty, flesh-tearing devils! They are the reason I'm out here every day hurlin' bottles into the sea! ***'Skippy:' They are the reason I've lost everythin, except the horrifying memory of what THEY look like... ***'Player:' And what do THEY look like? ***'Skippy:' Mudskippers! ***'Player:' Mudskippers? ***'Skippy:' Aye, Mudskippers! Those ferocious, ravening, evil, beady-eyed terrors of the deep! ***'Player:' I...see... ***'Skippy:' I was ambushed by them way back, see. They got the drop on me...I can't remember where, somewhere around here though. ***'Player:' Those would be the mudskippers, right? ***'Skippy:' Aye! The mudskippers! Huge they were! Ten feet of glistening, muddy flesh floppin' towards me with white foam flying from their gnashing fangs! ***'Skippy:' I fought them up and down the beach, with the tide rising and more of them leaping towards me with cutlasses drawn! ***'Player:' This is fascinating, but I have to be... ***'Skippy:' Shut yer' word-hole and listen! I can't remember all the details, as I'm sure they must have hit me quite hard, but the last thing I remember before it all went black... ***'Skippy:' ...was one of those devils rearing over me, its eyes glowin' red with the fires of hell! ***'Player:' Fires of hell...right. I believe you. ***'Skippy:' No you don't! You think I'm crazy, like all the rest! Well, if I'm crazy, how did I get these? ***'Player:' Get what? ***Skippy shows you what appears to be massive bite scars on his legs. You're no expert, but they look like... giant mudskipper bites! ***'Player:' Giant mudskipper bites! Where did you get those? ***'Skippy:' I can't remember... I've been drinking to forget the horror, and all I seem to have forgotten is where it all happened... ***'Player:' Hmmm...I suppose if I sober you up you may well start to recall. ***'Skippy:' You'll have a job. I've been drinking this for a week. ***'Player:' 'Captain Braindeath's Extra Strength Rum/Drain Cleaner. Now 50% more debilitating? ***'Skippy:' It's the extra sheep tranquilizers that gives it that added kick! ***'Player:' Stay here and I'll be right back. Try not to move. Or go near any open flames. Nettle tea *'Player:' You know, I could shock him out of it if I could find some cold water... *'Player:' Well, I could dump this bucket of water over him. That would sober him up a little... **Throw the water! ***'Player:' Hey, Skippy! ***'Skippy:' What? ***'Skippy:' Ahhhhhhhhhgh! That's cold! Are you trying to kill me? ***'Player:' Nope, just sober you up. Memory coming back yet? ***'Skippy:' No. But I could do with a bowl of tea to warm myself up a bit. Go grab me one and we'll talk. ***'Player:' Any particular type of tea? ***'Skippy:' Nettle for preference. Just make sure it's hot. ***'Skippy:' And don't throw it at me! ***'Player:' What's your problem? You're all clean now. **I think I'll leave it for now. Talking to Skippy again *'Player:' Hey, Skippy! *'Skippy:' Gaah! Don't drench me again! *'Player:' Hey! I only did that once! Try not to be such a big baby! *'Skippy:' So, what are you here for then? *'Player:' No real reason. I just thought I would check up on you is all. *'Skippy:' Well, I'm still wet, still cold and still waiting for that nettle tea. The hangover cure *'Player:' Hey, Skippy! *'Skippy:' Gaah! Don't drench me again! *'Player:' Hey! I only did that once! Try not to be such a big baby! *'Skippy:' So, what are you here for then? *'Player:' I've come to give you your tea. *'Skippy:' Excellent! I was thinking I was going to freeze out here! *Skippy drinks the tea and clutches his forehead in pain. *'Skippy:' Ohhhhh... *'Player:' What? What's wrong? *'Skippy:' Not so loud...I think I have a hangover... *'Player:' Great...Well, I doubt you can remember anything through a hangover. What a waste of nettle tea... *'Skippy:' Hey! A little sympathy here? *'Skippy:' Owwowwoww... must remember not to shout... *'Skippy:' Look, I do know a hangover cure. If you can get me a bucket of the stuff I think I'll be ok. *'Player:' Wait... is this cure a bucket of chocolate milk and snape grass? *'Skippy:' Yes! That's the stuff! *'Player:' Ahhh. Yes, I've made some of that stuff before. I should be able to get you some, no problem. Talking to Skippy again *'Player:' Hey, Skippy! *'Skippy:' Egad! Don't you know not to shout around a guy with a hangover? *'Skippy:' Ahhhhhg...No more shouting for me... *'Skippy:' What is it anyway? *'Player:' I just came back to ask you something. *'Skippy:' What? **'Player:' How do I make that hangover cure again? ***'Skippy:' Give me strength...Here's what you do. Pay attention! ***'Skippy:' You take a bucket of milk, a bar of chocolate and some snape grass. ***'Skippy:' Grind the chocolate with a pestle and mortar. ***'Skippy:' Add the chocolate powder to the milk, then add the snape grass. ***'Skippy:' Then bring it here and I will drink it. ***'Skippy:' Are you likely to remember that or should I go get some crayons and draw you a picture? ***'Player:' Hey! I remember it now, ok! See you in a bit. **'Player:' Why do they call you 'Skippy'? ***'Skippy:' I think it may have something to do with my near-constant raving about mudskippers. ***'Skippy:' That or it's something to do with that time with the dress and the field full of daisies... Identity revealed *'Player:' Hey, Skippy! *'Skippy:' Egad! Don't you know not to shout around a guy with a hangover? *'Skippy:' Ahhhhhg...No more shouting for me... *'Skippy:' What is it anyway? *'Player:' Well Skippy, you will no doubt be glad to hear that I got you your hangover cure! *'Skippy:' Gimme! *Skippy chugs the hangover cure... very impressive. *'Skippy:' Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... *'Skippy:' Much better... *'Player:' Feeling better? *'Skippy:' Considerably. *'Player:' Then tell me where the mudskippers are! *'Skippy:' I wish you wouldn't go looking for them. Those vicious killers will tear you apart. *'Skippy:' It's all becoming clear to me now... *'Skippy:' I was fishing using a Fishing Explosive... *'Player:' A Fishing Explosive? *'Skippy:' Well, Slayer Masters sell these highly volatile potions for killing underwater creatures. *'Skippy:' If you don't feel like lobbing a net about all day you can use them to fish with... *'Skippy:' But this time I was startled by what I thought was a giant mudskipper. *'Skippy:' What it was, infact, was a... *'Skippy:' Dramatic Pause... *'Skippy:' A Mogre! *'Player:' What exactly is a Mogre? *'Skippy:' A Mogre is a type of Ogre that spends most of its time underwater. *'Skippy:' They hunt giant mudskippers by wearing their skins and swimming close until they can attack them. *'Skippy:' When I used the Fishing Explosive I scared off all the fish, and so the Mogre got out of the water to express its extreme displeasure. *'Skippy:' My head still hurts. *'Player:' I take it the head injury is responsible for the staggering and yelling? *'Skippy:' No, no. *'Skippy:' My addiction to almost-lethal alcohol did that. *'Skippy:' But if you are set on finding those Mogres just head south from here until you find Mudskipper Point. *'Player:' The mudskipper-eating monsters are to be found at Mudskipper point? *'Player:' Shock! *'Player:' Thanks. I'll be careful. Post-miniquest *'Player:' Hey, Skippy. *'Skippy:' Hey you! *'Player:' How do I annoy the Mogres again? *'Skippy:' Go south to Mudskipper Point and lob a Fishing Explosive into the sea. You can grab the mfrom the Slayer masters. *'Player:' Thanks! So, what are you going to do now? *'Skippy:' Well, I was planning on continuing my hobby of wandering up and down this bit of coastline, bellowing random threats and throwing bottles. *'Skippy:' And you? *'Player:' I was planning on wandering up and down the landscape, bugging people to see if they had mindblowingly dangerous quests for me to undertake. *'Skippy:' Well, good luck with that! *'Player:' You too! *'Skippy:' Weirdo... *'Player:' Loony...